Chronic Pain Makes Your World Smaller

When treatment after treatment after treatment didn’t work, your doctor suggested you try therapy. Maybe you’re offended… and I get it! It can feel like your doctor is telling you your pain is “all in your head.” Rude.

It’s not that simple.

Let’s talk about why chronic pain and stress often join forces to become the bane of your existence (and hopefully your perspective on your pain changes at least a tiny bit by the end of this post).

You might have heard of the popular book, The Body Keeps the Score by psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk. The title really says it all, but the idea is that the things we go through in life, including emotional traumas, can manifest themselves in the body. In The Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk cites several studies finding correlations between trauma histories and chronic pain or chronic illnesses. The book explores how trauma can alter the brain, body, and nervous system.

Van der Kolk isn’t the only one talking about this. In another of my favorite books, The Myth of Normal, physician Gabor Maté discusses research correlating trauma and physical ailments like cancer and autoimmune disorders. Maté argues that unprocessed emotional trauma and stress can contribute to physical disease. He also includes people’s firsthand accounts of healing from serious illness when they address their trauma and suppressed emotions! 

The mind/body connection doesn’t stop there. In her book, Tell Me Where It Hurts: The New Science of Pain and How to Heal, psychologist and pain scientist Rachel Zoffness says that pain and emotions are processed in overlapping places in the brain. Zoffness explains that pain is not only physical, but cognitive/emotional and social too. She reminds us that pain plays an important role in our lives: it is the body’s danger alarm. 

Sometimes, if you have a trauma history, your brain might still be sounding that danger alarm in many ways, even if you are no longer in immediate danger. 

If you’re living with chronic pain, don’t hear me saying it’s your fault. 

So much is lost when you are living in pain. It’s not just about limited mobility and physical discomfort. It also impacts your sense of identity, adventure, relationships, pleasure, freedom, and trust in your body.

You’re constantly doing mental calculations about whether you can go on that girls’ trip (What is the bed like at the Airbnb?) or if you do a hike this weekend, will you be able to stand during your work presentation next week? Before you know it, your life starts shrinking while you’re (understandably) avoiding something that hurts. 

Chronic pain can slowly make your world feel smaller and smaller.

You start to organize your entire life around managing your pain.

You decline the hikes, the backyard BBQs, and the vacations, so you start to feel less connected. You lose confidence in yourself, continuing the cycle of inactivity and loneliness. Then you become more vigilant around your body. And your life shrinks again, and again, and again. 

I’m sure you’ve heard some variation of “maybe you’re just anxious” or “just push through and you’ll get stronger.” 💪

I’ve heard those things too.

Your pain is real. 

Your emotions and your pain are intricately interconnected. 

This does not mean your pain is “all in your head.”

And your pain can change…

I can relate to that chronic pain life. I played soccer and stayed highly active starting when I was very young. I became a college athlete, followed by a CrossFit athlete for seven more years, amongst other athletic ventures. I was hard on my body, and for the most part, I loved the way that felt. But by the time I was thirty-three years old, I had more serious injuries than even some professional athletes, and I could barely be on my feet for the length of time it took to cook dinner. 

I know what it can feel like to lose these important parts of your identity.

I also know the incredible power we have to change our lives.

Ignoring or white-knuckling through life is not the goal here. The goal is to start making your world bigger again while holding compassion and acceptance for your body.

Is therapy going to be your magic button to a pain-free life? No promises, but don’t rule it out! While some do experience decreased pain with trauma therapy, people have also reported other types of relief:

• making plans with friends again, 
• trusting their bodies more, 
• traveling, 
• picking up new hobbies (hello, ceramics wheel!), 
• playing with their kids, grandkids, or niblings, 
• and overall, experiencing pleasure again!

We cannot leave out the mental health aspect of healing. Starting this process can be nerve-racking and incredibly vulnerable. I am here to support you and we can move as slowly as you need to create the life that you want. Reach out whenever you’re ready.